Quick Lube

I am not known to be a particularly handy man.  Long ago, I realized that I am better with creative pursuits than mechanical.  As such, I patronize local establishments when I need my oil changed every 5,000 miles or so.  I openly admit that I am not particularly loyal to any one establishment, and I often visit the one with the lowest priced coupon offer. 

Most recently, I attempted to take my car to a place near my work for a $19.99 oil changed and tire rotation.  Not too bad for a coupon printed on the back of my Kroger receipt…Upon requesting said services I was informed that the approximate time in the queue was 20 minutes, and another 45 minutes would be necessary for the actual service.  Unable to accept the fact that an oil change would consume an hour and five minutes of my life, I chose to take my coupon and find a shop which could perform a simple lube job at a more agreeable pace.

My second choice was more expensive, coming in at an alarming $50 for services rendered; however, I happened to have a $10 off coupon which made it slightly more tolerable.  Sure, $40 was twice what the other place was going to charge, but the second establishment promised to have me in and out in 20 minutes.  That’s a quick and simple lube job my friends.

 I had pulled my car up to the bay and was waiting in line as the drama began to unfold before my very eyes…Service on the car in front of me was just being completed.  As I was next in line, I was in the waiting queue as the technicians reviewed the work with their customer.  They changed a light bulb in her rear turn signal.  They topped off her fluids.  They put a new sticker on her window stating her next oil change was to be done at 128,000 miles.  She was in full agreement as they ran down the list, until they said 128,000 miles…

The woman politely informed the technician that her odometer only read 80,000 miles when she brought in the vehicle.  She asked for an explanation as to how her car accumulated 48,000 miles during her 15 minute oil change.  This is where the technician made his first mistake, informing her that she must have been wrong and the car must have had more than 80,000 miles on it when she brought it in…

Clearly, this man is neither married or dating a female…To instantly respond to a woman by telling her she is wrong without offering any other reasoning is certain to cause problems.  Further, he offered no suggestions other than the fact that she was wrong and refused to discuss the issue further.  She was clearly, and rightfully, frustrated with the technician and sped away after arguing her point.

After she left, the technicians openly joked about her inability to read her odometer.  “How’d she mess that’n up!?” they said in their colloquial Hoosier accent (I have one too at times, so nothing against it…).  “She musta gone pert near 40,000 miles without’n oal (that’s how some of us say “oil” in Indiana – “oal”, like “coal” without the “c”) change!” they continued…

What the technicians did not realized is that 1 mile happens to equal 1.6 kilometers.  When THEY read the odometer, THEY changed the unit of measure from miles to kilometers (which is particularly easy to do on a 2008 Honda Civic, which happened to be what this particular female patron was driving).  As it turns out, 80,000 miles is roughly 128,000 kilometers (128,747.5 to be exact).

Now friends, I am no expert on the workings of the internal combustion engine or its maintenance.  I do not pretend to have a clue when it comes to fixing a car.  However, when a 48,000 mile discrepancy comes up in a matter of 15 minutes, I do believe I would have tried a little bit harder to investigate the mileage delta rather than insulting the woman’s intelligence.

After witnessing THEIR error in reading the odometer, I began to become nervous about having this particular crew service my vehicle.  My nervousness was an accurate premonition…

Upon completion of my oil change, I began to drive away.  Just as I was about to turn onto the main thoroughfare, every light on my instrument panel lit up; check engine, cruise control, traction control, etc…They were all on!  “What the what!?”, said the Liz Lemon voice in my head...

I returned to the shop to have the technician pull the codes.  No major mechanical problems, but the sensor to my air filter was not reconnected after they checked my filter for cleanliness…Though it was a simple fix, I do not see myself returning to that particular establishment.  Admittedly though, even if they hadn’t made that error on my vehicle, I would still “pass” on patronizing that location due to the way they treated the female patron with the crazy mileage…