STOP BREATHING [On Me]!!!

I have the fortunate blessing of having an amazing family.  I am the youngest of 4 children, having one awesome brother and two amazing sisters.  We have always been close, but at times I may have gotten on my oldest sister’s nerves…

Our family vacations usually consisted of a trip to Alabama to visit my Nana and Papa.  We had some great trips, and I have fond memories of Papa commenting on how much he enjoyed our visits, but wished we would not clog up his septic system…

Most trips were aboard the 15 passenger van, affectionately referred to as “Big Blue” on account of its color.  It was red….Colorblindness is no joking matter.

I, along with my 3 elder siblings, was confined to the back of the van.  The situation was almost ideal in that the large van had three rows of seating.  Too bad we had 4 kids each fighting for their own bench seat.  As the youngest, I drew the short straw and was placed with whichever sibling could tolerate me for a few hours.  This meant I usually shared a bench with my brother as he belched up the noxious gas produced when one combines Mountain Dew and beef jerky. 

My oldest sister was notorious for her type A personality and short temper when we were growing up.  She did not travel well and often got car sick.  My parents attempted to drug, err umm, appease her with dimenhydrinate; Dramamine being the brand of choice.  The meds usually knocked her out for most of the trip, but sometimes its efficacy was inadequate, which meant she was groggy, sick, confined, and awake.  The perfect storm…

On one occasion I was relegated to the rear bench seat as my brother and second oldest sister were each sleeping on their respective bench.  This meant I was confined to the back of the van with my oldest, cranky sister.  Apparently I was offending her with my involuntary respiratory function, and every couple minutes she insisted that I stop breathing on her.

In a relatively short time period, the command of “STOP BREATHING ON ME!” became, “STOP BREATHING!”  While I do not truly believe that she in fact wanted me to discontinue respiration and end my life, I do believe that I was annoying her immensely.  I thought I was just enjoying the ride, listening to my cassette tape of Plain White Rapper – it was the only tape I owned.  Sometimes I got to borrow my brother’s Milli Vanilli tape…

As we travelled down Interstate 65 I would keep an eye out for the rocket at the Alabama welcome center near Huntsville.  It was a beacon of hope that signaled our trip was nearly over, and I would finally be able to breathe in peace (photo courtesy of my oldest sister, Adrienne).

 But seriously, the van was blue…