Let’s Face It, Poop is Funny

Pardon me for being crass or immature, but…

Few things in life are more hilarious than bowel movements.  The BM is the great equalizer in society because we all know that everyone has to poop, maybe not at this very moment, but eventually….Being that everyone does it, it is best to be honest and admit that it is the most comical of all body functions.

When in an office setting, one is bound to encounter facilities with several commodes, and for men, a couple of urinals.  As any man will tell you, when at a urinal there are certain rules pertaining to speaking and one’s line of sight.  Eyes front, with limited to no talking…This means there is a great amount of silence in the men’s room, with the exception of our comedic friend the BM.

Recently, I was utilizing a urinal when a fellow restroom patron stormed into the restroom at a rather frantic pace.  Clearly, he was on the Panda Express, and the train was coming into the station at a rather fast rate.  The hilarity of the situation began when, once in the stall, I heard the man begin to fight with the sanitary paper ring that individuals with a germ phobia opt to place on the toilet seat (I blame Lysol for their extremely effective advertisements making everyone terrified of germs…but that’s another blog). 

Back to the story at hand…This poor individual was clearly on the verge of having a mishap for which the only solution is a change of underpants.  His own fear of sitting directly on a public toilet seat, because of the germs mind you, was about to cause him to soil himself and ironically expose himself to the germs in his own feces…

As I stood and listened to him struggle with the ring shaped sanitary paper, I could not help but laugh to myself; I assumed any minute this man would find himself stranded in the restroom stall, in need of new underpants.  This situation is clearly evidence that poop is indeed funny…

Perhaps the best public restroom incident involves my friend Stephen.  He claims he was using the commode when the custodian entered the restroom to mop the floors.  Rather than waiting for Stephen to vacate the stall, he simply asked Stephen to lift his feet so he could mop the floor beneath them from outside of the stall.  If this were indeed true, it would be hilarious, but unfortunately Stephen happens to be full of poop about 99.9% of the time…