Lozenges: Adult Supervision Required

According to the best reference ever, Wikipedia, “A throat lozenge, cough drop, troche, or cough sweet is a small, medicated sweet intended to be dissolved slowly in the mouth to lubricate and soothe irritated tissues of the throat (usually due to a sore throat), possibly from the common cold or influenza. Cough tablets have taken the name lozenge, based on their original shape.”  Slow dissolution is where this begins…

Medicated menthol lozenges are by far the most effective, in my opinion.  The nice slow burn of menthol takes my mind off of the fact that my throat is on fire.  The key is to keep the lozenge in the upper throat region…

I recently popped a medicated lozenge when my allergies caused my throat to become irritated.  I was properly following the directions and the intended use when all of a sudden the lozenge became lodged in my trachea.

There I was, at my desk choking on the menthol laced remedy.  It is amazing how incredibly painful a medicated lozenge can be when it becomes an obstacle to respiration.  I was terrified, thinking my last moments would consist of my face turning blue and passing out with menthol on my breath. 

Too ashamed to admit that I am not capable of using a cough drop without adult supervision, I began to weigh my options.  Do I force myself to vomit in my trash can and blame it on a stomach bug?  Do I proceed to hack up the lozenge running the risk of launching it across the office?  I could not swallow my pride and ask for help, mainly because I could not form a sentence, but also because I was not able to swallow in general…As the thoughts were racing through my mind, my eyes began to water as the menthol continued to light up my wind pipe like napalm. 

After what seemed like an eternity, my bite sized nemesis finally dissolved.  After my near death experience with a lozenge I decided that from day on that I would not be too proud to admit that I still need adult supervision from time to time; especially when it comes to choking hazards.  I think I will stick to antiseptic spray or other, liquid, forms of relief.  I should probably also stay away from Legos…