To My Son Someday...

Son,

Please know that I had to learn the following the hard way.  I can only hope that you will be able to understand these words and take them to heart.  If you do, you will be the man you are meant to be, and you will love the way God meant you to love.  It may seem like I am on a soap box;  I am not better than anyone, I just want you to know some things about love and choices.  Please know that I am taking this opportunity to make myself accountable for how I will love your Mother.   

Women are a gift from God.  Their beauty has captured our minds since creation.  They are intoxicating.  Few things in life can make you feel the way a woman does.  She can make you the happiest or saddest you have ever been.  Find the right one and never let her go.  Never take this gift for granted.  Appreciate your woman, and all that she is.  

Relationships are compromised when you allow yourself to fall into the trap of allure.  The "grass is always greener" syndrome.  There are many women in the world who are incredibly beautiful.  It can be easy to see other women and let your mind wonder.  This is a trap.  Never fall for it.  When you let your mind stray from your one true love, you plant a seed of destruction.  At the end of the day, no woman is as beautiful as your woman.  Be proud of your choice, and put effort into letting her know that she is the captivating light to which you return.  

Focus on loving your woman with a fierce passion.  Do not let your love stray - not even for a minute.  Attraction is one thing, but the minute you start to wonder what life would be like without your woman, you have done great damage.  Stay centered, stay satisfied.  Loving your woman the right way takes effort and deliberate action.  It is a choice you make every day.  You can devote time to your relationship and make it stronger, or you can think of other women and make your relationship toxic.  If you find yourself making your relationship toxic by thinking of other women, man up and get your head right.  If you are truly unhappy, it is your own fault.  You are the only one who can control your happiness.  Do not ruin a woman's life because you are unhappy.  Get your mind right, and love your woman right.  If you are not able to focus on ONE woman, and put all of your effort into your relationship with ONE woman, you should not be with ANY woman.  The woman you choose deserves all of you.  All of your effort.  All of your love.  Be a man and give it to her.  All the other women are static.  Noise which keeps you from focusing on the woman God gave you.  Choose to be happy with what you have rather than wasting time thinking about what you don't. 

Being happy with what you have does not mean you are settling.  Settling implies that you have compromised something when choosing your woman.  By no means should you compromise who you are when choosing the woman you plan to be with forever.  It is okay to make some small compromises, but if you have to change something about yourself, your beliefs, values, or morals in order to be with someone, you are not with the right someone.  Be true to your self.  Be honest to yourself and know who you are before you even think about being with someone else.  She deserves a man who is confident in who he is and does not need her to validate who he is as a man.  If you are using the woman in your life to make you feel like a man, you need to do her a favor and move on.  Take time to find out who you are as a person before you bring another person into your life.  You cannot love anyone in the right way if you do not know how to love who you are.

My prayer for you is simple: Love yourself so you can love your woman as she deserves to be loved. 

Peace,

Your Dad